PORTAL 2 IS COMING OUT OMG!

im gonna type this up reall fast because im in a hurry. screw grammar, screw punctution, screw... some other third party. portal 2 is coming out! oh my gosh. i did a play through of the first one real fast, and i mean real fast. i had that game in the bag in about an hour i think. something like that. i'm gonna do it again when i get home today. after work i got to go to gamestop and finish paying for it or they wont give it to me. i preorderd the ps3 version so that i can get the PC vefrsion for free. that will be fun cuz i got me garry's mod so that'll be awesome. i cant wait for a portal experience that will potentially take longer than one day to beat! especially since they crammed two different storylines in it! im oozing excitement. my god look at this post its awful. poor spelign and punctuation. abounds. blargh. noodle. we're shutting down mayday mayday she cant take much more capitan im givin her all shes got. explode.

That is all.

I'm already failing at blogging.

It's been like... a long time since I last posted. Like, a really long time. Or at least I think it was a really long time... I'm not sure. I'm gonna be honest with you, ever since I watched Inception (yesterday at time of writing) time has become irrelevant. Did anything happen while I was gone?

…

Nope. No comments, No news, no nothing. There is nothing I have to say…

!!!

WAIT! I remember stuff to say! I just watched Inception! Boy… was that a trippy movie. AND I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I now have the soundtrack. It’s beautiful. It also got me thinking about that lucid dreaming thing I heard of one before… If you have no idea what that is it’s basically, whenever you are dreaming and are aware of it, you are lucid dreaming. “You never remember the beginning of a dream, you always show up sometime in the middle” they say in the movie. True. Once you figure out you are dreaming though, the world is your plaything. In the movie, one of the characters (I forget her name but I will from this point on refer to her as the architect.) was learning about the whole shared dreaming concept. And on the fly she went and changed the world to her will for fun. (Of course, after doing that for a bit Leo’s subconscious tried to beat the shit out of her. Not good.)

I’d like to have one of those dreams. I remember one time when I actually realized I was dreaming and tried to do stuff. I was at my old house and there was a bulldozer an a Ferrari parked next to each other in the street out front. I was standing on the Ferrari and it suddenly hit me “I’m dreaming.” For whatever reason, I looked at a stop sign and tried to change it into a tree. It first turned brown, and then it kind of looked like a blob of Play-Doh. It was starting to take shape but I guess I was trying too hard because soon everything faded to black and I woke up.



Speaking of dreams, I had another pony dream. Don’t judge me, they’re awesome. So… I don’t want to type it up because I already told it to my bronies on www.ponychan.net so I’m gonna post a picture. ALSO, I saw a really cool movie that played all the dream sections of Inception in about the real time that it would have played out in. For every 1 minute in the waking world it translates to 12 minutes in a dream. After doing some math I found it translates roughly the same from minutes up to days. 1 [UNIT OF TIME] awake = 12 [UNIT OF TIME] in a dream. So, they could have dreamed through the entire 10 hour flight (they didn’t they woke up early.) and there was 4 layers of dream. It translated to this:

Layer 0: Reality: 10 hours

Layer 1: City: 5 days

Layer 2: Hotel: 60 days (2 months)

Layer 3: Snow Base: 720 days (roughly about 2 years)

Layer 4: Limbo, Leo’s dream world: 8640 days (23.6 years)

What this guy did is made a movie that plays the 1st layer at actual speed and then speeds up the film from each layer exponentially to show just how fast the dream is actually going. It’s crazy. You should watch it. 

Yes, my screen name on Ponychan is PonyBlah.

My Dreams Have High Production Value.

Well, once again I had a weird dream. And for the second time, that I can remember, the production values for said dream had to have been high (at least for the second part.)

So, throughout the entire dream, I am nowhere to be found. I'm not in this dream. I'm simply a bystander watching. Which works out well because this dream gets weird. I can't remember much about the first part. I can ascertain this much:

• It's in cartoon.
• There are ponies. Yes, THOSE ponies.
• There's a clown that's been getting on everyone's nerves (well, ALMOST everyone. Pinkie Pie seems to like him.)
• There was a play that everyone hated (Once again, Pinkie Pie is the exception. She's ALWAYS the exception.)

After all of that happened I get to see the rest. Everyone learns some sort of lesson about balance in your life. I'm not sure what that was but i'm sure it was important. Then these 4 spectral things show up. Apparently THEY were the ones who brought the clown to teach the lesson. So there's some commotion and everyone's feeling fuzzy inside like at the end of a children's movie. One of the specters, I'm guessing he's the black sheep of the 4, asked if anyone liked his play. There's a lot of silence for a while until Pinkie Pie starts singing its praises, after every sentence she hides back behind whatever she popped out of and pops up elsewhere. The play made her laugh, cry, laugh some more, want to dance, question existence, get hungry, want popcorn, gets a soda while she's up, might as well go to the bathroom, did she leave the oven on?, i'm gonna throw a party after all this, oh my look at the time, did I miss a lot of the play?, nope this is the good part! (Oh Pinkie Pie, you're so... Random!) After this ordeal 2 more facts become noticeable.

• Fluttershy and Derpy Hooves (who have wings) are oddly incapable of flight.
• During the ordeal Derpy is secretly given the chance to fix her wings but decides to turn it down. 

The spectral being in charge (I'm guessing, they all look the same) Pulls out a piece of paper and tells Fluttershy something, I'm not sure what. Then he pulls out a paper and a stapler and staples the paper to poor Fluttershy's forehead. Even though shes the shy sensitive one, she comes out unscathed (it's a cartoon after all.) there's some sort of significance to the paper. don't remember that either.

It comes time for the beings to leave so they fly up in the air. all the Pegasus ponies fly up after them to say goodbye. Fluttershy, forgetting that she couldn't fly, flies up after them (successfully). After she realizes this, she asks as they leave, "Oh my, Mr.ghosts! Why can I fly again?" "Look at that grey one on the ground. The one with the messed up eyes." (Derpy is a popular fan character in the series because an animation error caused her eyes to point in two different directions giving her a "Derp" expression.) Fluttershy looks down and sees that the once winged Derpy has no wings anymore. Fluttershy is very happy to see that her friend willingly gave up their wings so that she could fly.

Cut to a darkened rooftop in Gotham City (WTF?!). Close up on Batman's head (from the front). His mask is half pulled off. (The part of the mask that exposes his mouth has been stretched and pulled over the left half of his face revealing his gruff 5o'clock shadow.) He pulls up a bloody axe over his shoulder. Then you hear him think. "Two miracles. Two miracles in one day. It's impossible." (For some odd reason, Batman is referring to Fluttershy's wings as one miracle. As for the other, I'm not too sure. I'm wondering if it has to do with the axe.) Then you hear a helicopter over head and a searchlight goes over Batman. (Camera angle changes to be on top of the search light as the helicopter flies around the building.) On top of the roof you see the text "Warner Bros. Studios in association with DC Comics and (I kid you not about this part) Tyler's Brain present." Then it cuts to the Batmobile driving down a street at dawn. He's headed to some convention of superheros at the city hall. End dream.

What?! It ends there?! It can't! What's with the bloody axe?! What's the second miracle?! Why is Batman associating with cartoon ponies?! I cannot answer these questions. But after all of this I learned one thing.

Lauren Faust, Hasbro Studios, Warner Bros. Studios, and DC Comics write my dreams during their off time.

That is all.

Post 7.

I started this blog a week ago and for whatever the reason I wanted to post everyday, once a day, for a week. Today marks the 7th post and thus my last daily post. I will still post, but I'll probably have something more substantial to share instead of yesterday's mini posts.

Today is going to be a busy one. At work I need to test out the functionality of several printers, post a funny movie to Facebook and do my best to be productive (something I tend to struggle with. Hi dad.) My dad is my boss. He also reads my blog. After that, I need to make sure I don't have anything I have to do for English class tonight. I probably have to read something. :P After that I'm gonna start up work on my Web Design classwork. Last semester they taught me how to make websites with Adobe Dreamweaver. Now they are teaching me how to make websites with Microsoft WordPad. I'm gonna use Dreamweaver if thats ok with you. I paid for it and I'm gonna use it! Then theres that Intro to Computer Info Systems class. I like to call it "Computers for noobs." Anything and everything you wanted to know about computers is in this class. As an interesting side dish, it also teaches you how to use Microsoft Office. Woo. Finally, I'm gonna go to my English class. which is from 7pm to 10pm meaning when I come home I'll be dead. It's sad, the other days of this week were so easy... (I can hear my moms voice now.. "It's because you put off all this homework you had." Hi Mom.) Guess who else reads my blog. Eh, I guess having your parents read your blog isn't that bad.

The blog is still young though...

(JK guys. I love you. Please take a joke. oh and dad? F**K F**K F**K! the blog F**K count is now at 6. Feel free to raise the parental terror alert from yellow to orange. lol. In a year maybe I'll beat South Parks record for most F**Ks in an episode. they had 100, I got 7. Mom can take a joke. She laughed at a Buck Ofama bumper sticker. And she HATES South Park and all the similar shows. My dad loves them. Its a very reversed situation I've got goin' on here. Don't ya think? Love you guys. If my mom fainted please recessitate her and get her a cup of chai tea.)

That is all.

A Million Mini Posts

... I seem to have nothing prepared for you to blog about. At least, nothing to blog about in volume. I find this sad because I've posted one blog post a day since I started this thing. I'm determined to do this for at least a week.  So, for your entertainment I will put a bunch of little thoughts in this post.

Minecraft is pretty awesome. I like the game. The sad thing is that when I first started playing it I binged on it (see Tangents) and now I can't play it for that long. I do go on a mini tangent everytime a new update comes out. Next update: Wolves that you can train.

I had a weird dream last night. I don't remember specifics but I remember one part vividly. I was at Walmart and my cat was there. For whatever reason It was clinging for dear life to the concrete outside of Walmart. I found it odd.

Youtube is blocked on my work computer. Normally, this is a good move. But when my job is to post interesting content to the company Facebook page, it causes issues.

My little bro had his birthday yesterday. So, instead of buying things I like and giving them to him under the ruse that he'll like it and then get bored with it and I can swoop in and make it my own, I bought him a bowling party. On an added note: The bowling alley had a New machine installed for making fruit smoothies. As they tested it out they gave out free samples. It was a good day.

I have a web design class. This will be the second one that I'll have took. (is that grammatically correct?) Anyway, this site has little bits and pieces where i can do HTML coding. Hopefully after this class I'll have an awesome looking blog. Until then, you can deal with this crap.

I've been real into listening to podcasts at work lately. I used to listen to music but whenever someone talked to me, I couldn't hear them. With a podcast I get my entertainment but can also hear the outside world. What have I been listening to you ask? (You didn't ask? I'm insulted. You come here for my opinions and thoughts. You're gonna hear them.)

• Drunk Tank by Rooster Teeth
• Engadget Podcast
• PSM3 Podcast (I don't know why but listening to British people talk about video games is very entertaining for me.)
• Stuff You Should Know
• TechStuff
• This Week in Tech
• Weekend Confirmed

Notice that they are all audio podcasts. Notice? Good.

I saw this cool thing on Instructables.com where a guy made a Trash Can out of wood and built and painted it so it looked blocky and pixelated. Its AWESOME! I wanna make some pixelated  furniture, but something different.

I think that this list of weird stuff is a long enough post to tide anyone who-so-ever reads this. Hey, Do me a favor. I'd like to hear a comment or two as proof of your existence, Reader. If you read this and were entertained please write the name of a vegetable in the comments. NOTHING ELSE. JUST. A. VEGETABLE.

That is all.

Life's more fun with Brain Damage.

I have this weird desire to hallucinate. Now, mind you, I'm not talking the kind of hallucination that you get from drugs. It's too... Illegal for my tastes. No, I'd like the kind of hallucinations that come from minor brain damage. To give an example I cite a show I once saw.

The concept of the show more or less went like this: Kid goes to "Disney"land and gets hit by a train. The "Disney" employees take him to the secret hidden underground hospital. No one can ever die at "Disney"land. They simply won't have it. But the kid's situation is serious, they are running out of options. The head doctor decides that the only way to save the kid is to transplant the frozen brain of "Walt Disney" into the kids brain. I'm guessing they only put in part of "Disney's" brain because he still had all his own thoughts and memories. There was simply one caveat to the whole ordeal. He could see and talk to all the "Disney" characters. They freely roamed around 3d space while being 2D themselves. No one but him could see or hear them and they often gave the illusion that they were interacting with real stuff when really they weren't. (I put "Disney" in quotes because it was a Disney proxy that they used in the show.)

I think that THIS form of hallucinating would be cool to have. But have it extend to more than just cartoon characters. I present to you the following situation...

I'm sitting in the doctors office waiting. (everything in stars is hallucinated) *The door opens and Dr. House walks in. "So, What's wrong with you?* "Nothing" *"I think it's Lupus."* "it's not Lupus" *"Cancer?"* "No" *"Any unknown tumors?"* "I'm here for a check up House, Not because I'm Dieing." *"You should be dieing. It'd make things more interesting."* Door opens and real doctor walks in. *"Well, looks like you've been saved by this quack." (I glare at him and use "Psychic powers" to communicate. After all, he's a hallucination in my brain) *"House, Get!" "Fine, Tell me if you die." House limps out*

I think that'd be an interesting existence. Of course there would potentially be problems. As sane as I would appear (I've been pulling off this whole "sane" thing for 18 years and counting.), I'd still technically be brain damaged and probably want to avoid operating heavy machinery. I'd also have to take everything I see and hear with a grain of salt because I would never know if what I'm seeing is real or fiction. However, the ideal situation would not have those problems. I would go my entire day having secret mental conversations with visual extensions of my own personality. It'd make my day AT LEAST 20% cooler. Give or take. Just a thought... BTW: Don't do drugs. They give you the bad kind of brain damage. Also, don't do anything that could give you brain damage. That's also bad. Don't do it.

That is all.

Tangents

I go off on what I like to call tangents. I'm pretty sure that's not the formal definition of what I do but, whatever. It's a tangent. I define it as a moment of time during which I become obsessed with a particular activity or Intellectual Property. Well, Obsessed is too strong of a word. I harbor a deep interest in it. Some tangents I've been on include:

• Rubik's cube (During which I learned to solve the little bugger)
• Death Note (a very interesting anime series and manga series that revolves around a magic notebook that upon writing someones name in it, they die.)
• My Little Pony (The latest internet obsession. I feel no shame in admitting it. See previous post.)
• Old Cartoons (By old I mean cartoons from my childhood. I couldn't get enough of them.)
• Whose Line is it Anyway? (Funny show. go watch it now.)
• Scrubs (Ditto)
• Blogging (I find this very entertaining.)
• Work (From time to time it absorbs me)
• School (Yeah.)
• Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (Great series of games. I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Apollo Justice game. <spoiler> Phoenix can't become a hobo! </Spoiler>)

These tangents can go for weeks, months, possibly even a year. But eventually, the embers of interest die off. After which I move on to the next thing. I like to think that, in my head, the previous tangent meets up with the new one and passes the baton. Phoenix was my last tangent. The ponies are the new one. I imagine that was an awkward meeting. Hell, the fact that the ponies are even in here is a strange thing to accept once in a while. that's why I like this blog. It gives the illusion that I'm telling people these things but to my knowledge only one person is reading this. Like confessing your secrets to an empty room with the janitor in a corner of the room sweeping. (Now that I mention it, I think the person who reads my blog IS a janitor at a school. Johnsticle... Go read his blog... Go read your blog.)

Yeah, well. I need to go back to work now. in the mean time, o read my last post. I worked hard on that one dammit. How about this, if you read it and complete the challenge you may openly mock me in the comments. And i will proceed to "Love and Tolerate the shit out of you." lol. Whatever. i'm bored. Bye.

Motha' F****n' Ponies.

So, as a testament to my sheer manliness, I propose to you a challenge. But before the challenge is proposed I believe it needs a bit of backstory as most things do.

In October of 2010, a show premiered on a new TV station. What once was  "Discovery Kids" is now the new Hasbro owned "The Hub" Show casing such shows as G.I. Joe, Based on the Toy, and Family Game Night, a game shoe revolving around the various Hasbro board games. The Show in question is titled "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" At first glance these shows all seem to be huge advertisements to sell brainwashed kids toys. This was, in fact, the original plan. However, the direction of the MLP:FiM show changed when a certain cartoonist was brought on board. Lauren Faust, the creative force behind such hits as "The Powerpuff Girls" and "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" Was asked to make the MLP:FiM show. Refusing to let the show become a huge advertisement, become the stereotypical "Little Girl Show" It was intended to be, and compromise on her values, Faust managed to make it into a show she was not ashamed to show.

In that same month, an author on a website titled "Cartoon Brew" wrote an article about "The end of the Creator Driven Era" stating that the cartoon industry lost a great cartoonist when Faust agreed to make a show that was essentially a huge advertisement. Members on the 4chan board /co/ (Cartoons and comics. /b/ isn't important yet in this story.) saw this article and found it funny due to its alarmist tone. as a joke they went and watched the first 2 episodes just to see what was so bad about it. That's when it happened. Deep within the souls of these 18-30 year old men, a single terrifying truth made it self known. "This show's not half bad..." Some were to afraid to embrace this truth. Others embraced it in full 4chan style, comeplete with the obligatory image macros and Rule 34 (which they then became ashamed of as the show engulfed more and more of their soul, driving them to be better people.)

Turn to present day and they have become their own movement of "Bronies" The opposite of the "Legion of Anonymous" that resides in /b/. The Pony threads became "cancer" to the furious anons. The Internet Hate Machine had finally met the Internet Love Machine. Yin and Yang. Light and dark. Good and Evil. With the creation of the bronies, Balance was brought to the internet.

I'm not ashamed to be a brony. I have watched all 19 episodes and I'm accumulating a folder of funny pony images. I have decided that admiting this to the internetz (with my identity forever attached to it) Makes me manly as F**k. So It brings me to the challenge.

Challenge: Watch the two pilot episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and come out completely unaffected.


You don't have to admit it if you don't want to. I don't need you to post "0h, 1 w4tch3d 1t and st1ll th1nk p0n13s are g4y." Just let me know if you watched it or not. You will know the truth yourself and thats all I need. To those to come out changed.: Welcome to the Herd *Brohoof*

The movies I had originally posted were taken down along with their author when their account got shut down by some people claining to be "Hasbro Inc."

Stages of Brony. (I'm at Twilight and will never reach Pinkie Pie because thats just a bit too far for my tastes.)

One last thing, all gathered information for the history of bronies was acquired through http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic

Idea #2062

Are some of you aware of the existence of a game called "Team Fortress 2"? Good. So, if you are more familiar with the characters within, you probably already know that they are an interesting bunch. But unless you are as into researching these things as I am you probably don't know much about the backstory that's in the game. Yes, the game HAS a story. Let me inform you of said story.

Basically the story goes somewhat like this: Long ago there was a very wealthy man named [something or other I don’t remember the first name] Mann. He died. In his will he left stuff to several people. First, he left his company Mann Co. to a guy named Saxton Hale. It was either him or his ancestor. I forget if he had an ancestor because I didn’t exactly remember all the specifics, I just remembered the basic storyline. Bear with me. The Hale family took charge of Mann Co. who is the fictional company that arms all the players in the game. He left something to his secretary, who went on to give birth to the ominous announcer lady in the game. And finally, to his two sons (I think they are his sons), whose names are BLUtarch Mann and REDmond Mann, he left them a vast amount of properties. His explanation for this is, “You two have fought with each other your whole lives over nothing. I’m giving you something of consequence to fight over for once.” Not a bad plan. So Redmond and Blutarch create two teams of mercenaries to go fight each other for them. At present day, Redmond and Blutarch are a billion years old and are kept alive through super advanced life support systems. Each of them waiting for the other to die.

So that’s the gist of the story. The characters you play don’t really have any idea that this is going on. They just get paid to fight. Now we come to my idea. What if they made a Team Fortress 2 movie? Absurd right? Once again, bear with me here. In a perfect world it’d go like this: A CG movie with all the original character models (probably made to look a little better for HD but still the same style) and all the original voice actors. The story would basically be about the Mercs finding out about the story behind the scenes. There would be only one of each character in the movie. This would translate to a team of four for each. “But Tyler! There are NINE characters” Yeah. I know. Guess who would be prefect to play the “Whose team are you on?” kind of character? Gentlemen… The Spy, know?

Here’s where I have a brief burst of blazing brilliance. There would be two movies. I’m not talking a crappy sequel: There would be two versions of the same movie. One version of it from RED team’s perspective and the other from BLU team. Each movie would be different up until the point when both teams figure it out and then meet. At that point, the two movies merge into the same storyline. So both movies end the same way. The tag line could be something like: “Pick a Team” “Whose side are you on?” And I’m sure somewhere in there we can squeeze a team Jacob/Edward joke. “I don’t want you sissy maggots to treat this decision like a JOKE! This is much more important that picking which sparkling vampire you like over which shirtless werewolf! You make me sick. And if you read this in MY voice, the Soldier, Welcome aboard.”

Yeah, that’d be awesome. It’s a thought. If you see it as a viable idea, go ahead and tell Valve for me.

Look at me! Internetz is fun.

So... Blog. Must Blog. Why? I don't remember having any interesting thoughts to share. Or do I? Hold on, let me confer with my superiors...

[Entering Tyler's mind: Please keep your hands, arm, feet, legs, head, torso, and anything else that may or may not be attached to you inside the imaginary vehicle at all times.]

Hmmm, lets see... we are...HERE. and the thought department is just past the food court. on level 38-J in room 29-E. Where the hell did they put the elevator? Is it there? It looks like an elevator but it could be and elaborate trap to make me unknowingly walk into an enormous pit where they will capture me, hold me captive for days to break my will, and then put a giant weenie on my head and make me sell fast food to fat people. It's a conspiracy I tell you! We'll take the stairs. And by we, I mean me because you aren't actually moving or going anywhere.

[1 hour later]

*huff* *pant* Maybe being a food vendor wouldn't have been that bad... Now what room was it again? Hold up. [reads blog post up to this point] 29-E. Right. 17..18..19..banana...28..29-a..b..7..E! Now lets see what goes on in the thought department.

[opens door]

*demon screeches* [white and red light shoots out from the door] SDJFUERNAKHFSDHFASJKNFRUHADNUEAKDASKDJF!

[closes door]

Hmm, good thing this isn't Charlie Sheen's mind or my face would have melted off. HEY! That was a thought! Looks like i had my thoughts ALL ALONG! :D

[Now leaving Tyler's mind: They don't pay me enough to care about your safety so do whatever you want, just don't bug me.]

I have collected my thoughts. Charlie Sheen is weird. That is all. Have a nice day.